By Kim Hutchinson
Many clients come to me with anger issues. They either don’t know where the anger is coming from, or they’re not sure how to deal with it. If you are dealing with anger issues here are a few things to keep in mind.
The Upside to Anger
Anger Can Be a Gift
Anger is a much maligned emotion which many people have a hard time expressing, and yet it is such a powerful tool. When used correctly, the energy that comes with anger can help you move out of a bad situation and into a good one. Anger gives you a turbo boost to power through an uncomfortable situation that might otherwise have prevented you from moving forward in your life.
Anger Can Be Appropriate
Anger exists for a reason. It’s there to alert you that something is amiss, and to give you energy to fix it. When you’re angry, there is always a cause, and no matter what anyone else thinks about that trigger, it is valid for you. You do not need to justify your emotions to others nor do you need their permission to feel angry. The key is to discover that underlying reason and then to take appropriate action.
Anger Can Be Healthy
If you frequently put others’ needs before your own, then anger can remind you to love and attend to your own needs first, thereby making you a much better and healthier caretaker. Anger can also bolster your confidence so that you can remove yourself from an unloving situation. It all depends on how you utilise the energy and messages that come with the angry feelings.
The Importance of Safely Releasing Anger
Anger that is suppressed can eventually show up in unexpected and unpleasant ways. Here are just three examples.
Suppressed Anger Can Be Explosive
Think of anger as red hot magma bubbling beneath the surface. When you don’t release it in a safe and timely manner, that anger can eventually cause you to explode, just a like a volcano blowing its lid and damaging everyone in its path. It’s hard to recover from a meltdown of such epic proportions. It’s much healthier, and easier on you and the people in your life, to give your anger a safe outlet.
Repressed Anger Can Make You Ill
All dis-ease starts first as energy, then as thought. If those thoughts persist they invoke an emotional reaction. Emotion registers in the body as physical sensations. Strong emotions that come with lots of energy need to be addressed, otherwise that energy will become trapped in your body. Stagnant energy interrupts the flow of life force energy and causes pain, ailments and illness.
Blocked Anger Can Be Depressing
I call depression ‘anger without enthusiasm’. When you consistently ignore your anger, you are missing out on the gift of energy needed to resolve your problems. First you feel anxiety associated with feeling unsafe, then the fear causes the energy to stop flowing. You lose the intensity of the desire to improve your life and you become resigned to living with unhappiness. It’s far easier to make changes in your life while the energy is still flowing.
How to Safely Release Anger
Step 1: Get Moving!
When you feel angry, find a safe way to express the physical component of your emotion. If you’re at home, go into another room or leave the house. If you’re at work, excuse yourself and go to the washroom. Then, do something physical, but safe. Here are some ideas:
- Go for a walk / run
- Go to the gym / work out
- Clap your hands
- Stomp your feet / march in place
- Do jumping jacks
- Shake your body
- Yell into a pillow
Step 2: Do Something Calming
Once the intense energy leaves you, follow it with a calming activity. Here are a few suggestions:
- Qigong, yoga, or any other form of meditative movement
- Deep breathing exercises
- Walking in a park, or by water, while taking in the beauty around you
How to Use the Gift of Anger
Now that you are feeling calmer, it is the perfect time to figure out what made you so angry.
Step 3: Write, Read and Reflect
If anger is recurring, keep a journal of your healing journey. Write about your day. What preceded the anger? Who were you with when you felt it? What was said? What was happening at that time? How did you feel? In what way did you respond? Answering these questions will help you chart your triggers so that you have a clearer idea of why you are angry. That will, in turn, show you what you need to change.
Step 4: Ask for Help
If you find yourself in need of internal change (i.e. dealing with anxiety), or you need help identifying the cause of your anger, then seek help. Consult with people you trust who love you and have your higher good at heart (i.e. friends, family, physician, counsellor, therapist, healer, spiritual adviser, etc.). You may find you have PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). This is far more common than most people realise. That’s because you only release anger and fear when you feel safe enough. If you think you have PTSD please seek professional help. Just use caution if prescribed medication. Pharmaceuticals can numb the pain and anxiety, but they might also suppress your ability to fix your problems. Discuss this concern with your doctor.
Step 5: Make Positive Changes
As you reflect on your triggers, it’s natural to feel your anger resurfacing. But now you are in a more relaxed environment (hopefully) and can therefore safely utilise the anger’s energy to formulate, and follow, a positive plan of action. Ask yourself, “What needs to change in my life in order for me to feel happier?”. Be sure to look at internal as well as external changes.
Still Feel Stuck in Your Anger?
Healing Cannot Be Rushed
As great as your desire to feel better, you need to give yourself time to heal. If you were to release everything all at once, it would overwhelm you and possibly do you great harm. Give yourself plenty of time to heal, and understand that the process is cyclical. It can feel like you’re taking two steps forward and one step back, but you are making progress. As you release the anger, you will have more good days than bad. Be patient with your healing journey. The end result is worth it.
Healing Past Life Trauma
You may be dealing with a past life issue. Everyone has past life fears and traumas because the soul has incarnated many times. Every 3-D incarnation ended with death. Depending on the circumstances, you may be carrying a lot of fear and anger which needs to be purged. Without knowing what happened in prior incarnations, it’s very difficult to heal. Your old anger would appear to have no cause or merit. Past Life Healing can help get to the real root of your anger so that you can safely vent it, and so that you can feel more love and compassion for yourself in the process.