By Kim Hutchinson
When we experience emotional pain, we often place blame on external factors, and on other people; however, if we were completely honest with ourselves, we would see that our own thoughts, feelings, and expectations, influence the manner in which we relate to others. As uncomfortable as that realization may be initially, it is also liberating. It puts us squarely in the driver’s seat, and diminishes our feelings of helplessness and victim-consciousness.
But we can go farther than simply accepting our part of the blame. In fact, why blame anyone at all?
Rather that expending negative energy, we should try to create a sense of well-being, balance, and happiness in not only our life but in the lives of those around us.
Instead of finger-pointing, we would be far better served to heal those who have hurt us.
When we heal someone else, we also heal ourselves in the process. Why? Because resentment, anger, and hurt are corrosive emotions that eat away at the vessel that contains them.
Forgiveness is the key to ridding yourself of these destructive emotions. When you forgive someone, you release yourself from being a victim, and you give yourself permission to be happy again. No longer do you have to suffer due to something the other person might have said or done.
How do you forgive others, especially when their actions have created so much pain?
It’s quite easy, actually. You simply need to acknowledge that only love is real.
Love is the energy that created the universe. You and everyone in this life are comprised of pure love. The less-than-desirable aspects of your personality, and that of others, are merely illusions. These so-called negative traits are in fact the product of false perceptions. When we refuse to see, or are unable to see, love in others or in ourselves, we create shadows or illusions of darkness. These shadows create fear, and fear begets ‘negative’ behaviour. Since only love is real, then the fear and the negativity are merely illusions. We respond to the perception of a lack of love with fear, anger and hostility. So, you see, WE create the negativity that we blame on others.
The only way we can stop this cycle of negativity, is to accept that only love is real. Once you make peace with that notion, everything becomes crystal-clear. You no longer need to react helplessly to other people’s negativity. Instead, you will be better able to look beyond the shadows, and see into their very soul. Look for the love within, and you will find it every time. At first, this exercise might feel daunting and impossible because some people project very dark shadows. In that case, you must not look at the person as they are today; instead, visualize their timeless soul. Go within and connect to their heart chakra via your own heart energy.
If you still encounter difficulties connecting with them, and forgiving them, then that is an indication of an imbalance within YOU. Yes, this is an even harder concept to bear, but it is truly the only path to peace and understanding. You must heal within yourself that which annoys you most about the other person. When you heal yourself, you then free yourself from future triggers. This liberates you and augments your happiness.
But, there is a second and even more powerfully significant benefit…you also heal the other person! This process is known as Ho’oponopono. This is a Hawaiian word meaning “to make right”. The process is deceptively simply and yet is more powerful than any cognitive therapy in the world. It involves healing within yourself that which created problems in the other person. To do this, you simply think of the person and you say:
Please forgive me.
I love you.
I thank you.
Ho’oponopono puts the healing onus on you. That may not seem fair at first, until you realize that the only person you can true change is yourself. So, instead of railing against injustice, heal the people involved by healing yourself with love. This is a vastly more rewarding process than being consumed by negativity and feelings of helplessness. For every person that you heal, you yourself become more loving, peaceful, and happy.
Why not try it today? See how many people you can help simply by sending them love. If we all healed just one person, we could heal the world!
Wishing you all love, healing, and peace.